Tag: unfiltered

7 – Eleven is a Gas Station

therealinappropriatepastorswife

7 elevenFriends, I have to be honest…. I feel bad for worship pastors (don’t worry – teaching pastors you will get your day in the sun).  If I had a nickel for every time I heard someone complain about “worship”, I would have paid off my blessed student loans by now.  God made us all different and unique .  We all have preferences, and that’s a beautiful thing!  We would be boring and so much less fun if we all had the same preferences.  But…..there is a point in time where your preferences are not what it’s (Church) about.  You can not make everyone happy because we are all different and have different tastes.  Here are just a few of the phrases that I often hear regarding church worship:

  1.  He or she (heaven forbid we have women pastors – don’t worry we will get to that too) don’t sing enough hymns, or do too many.
  2. It’s too loud or too quiet.
  3. It’s not my style.
  4. That is a 7 – eleven church.

I didn’t know what that last one meant when I first heard it.  I assumed the church had a gas station attached to it.  I was kind of hoping that it meant they had slushies at their church.  However, the response I got when I asked what it meant was, “It’s when you sing the same seven lines, eleven times.  That’s not worship music.”  I’m sorry, let me just insert eye roll here.

Help me understand something….. when did worship music become about us?  Because last time I checked it was about Jesus Christ; the Savior of the world.  I didn’t realize that church was about me and my preferences.  If that’s the case, I would like to know where I can sign up for pedicures while I sit in the pew and a fresh blow out during Sunday school class.

I have heard people say, “we left such and such church because it just wasn’t our sort of style of music”.  I’m sorry, “say whaaaaaaaaat??!”  You didn’t leave because of inappropriate teaching or lack connection to community?  You left because it wasn’t your worship style?  Folks,  let’s whip out that Bible and find where it says we should attend the church that meets our perfect worship style, or leave based on that criteria?

We all get to have preferences, again, that is NOT WRONG OR BAD.  But, what’s not ok is when you decide that your preference of worship style is the correct one.  And when you put down others preferences, you are not honoring the Bride of Christ.  That is not lifting up and encouraging your brothers and sisters.  I don’t know how to put this any more gently, but …… it’s not about you or me.  It’s about Jesus.  It’s about serving and worshipping collectively with our brothers and sisters.

So the next time you see a worship pastor… would you do them a favor and encourage them?  Because more than likely they just had to endure an individual tell them what they didn’t like, and that’s certainly discouraging to hear.  Colossians 3:14 (NLT) says, “Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.”  Listen, I get that “7 – eleven” might not be your style, but that doesn’t mean that we get to make church about us.  At the end of the day…. it’s about Jesus.

Sincerely,

The Inappropriate Pastor’s Wife

 

Cursing

therealinappropriatepastorswife

swear-word

Can we just take a moment and address the hypocrisy?  I mean I do go to church and love Jesus and pray with you at church, but …. the moment that I screw up and accidentally curse, the elders are notified.  I’m so very serious right now.  I found out later on, but some one actually went and told the elders that I slipped up and cursed.  I literally don’t remember when it happened.  I had no idea.  I racked my brain for hours trying to figure out what I could have said or who(m) I may have offended.

It’s ironic isn’t it?  Instead of handling it in a “Christ-like” manner and coming to me directly to inform me of my dirty language and condemning behavior… they went and told my husband’s bosses.  Because that obviously is how mature Christians should handle things.  Friends, I truly struggle with loving the “weaker brother”.  I wish I could have known whom I had offended.  Believe it or not, I would actually have apologized to them.  I probably would have said I’m not perfect and have areas that I’m working on, but would have apologized for offending them none the less.  Fortunately, the elder that informed me also drank and cursed, so I was ok.  But it was the damn principle of the thing.  Come on friends, we are all in this together.  When you don’t speak in a Christ-like manner I don’t rat you out to your spouses boss. I’m not holy.  I’m not perfect.  I’m real.  And I’m just trying my best to get thru this thing called life.

Sincerely,

The Inappropriate Pastor’s Wife

Shall We Begin?

therealinappropriatepastorswife

coffee

It’s a Sunday afternoon and I’m drinking my cup of coffee.  Don’t ask me what number this is for the day…. I truly couldn’t tell you.  My family is sleeping after a crazy day of Sunday events that always take place when you’re married to a pastor.  For years I have always wanted to share the truth about being a pastors wife or just my own personal feelings, but heaven forbid we do that….the whole damn church might fall apart.  Why you ask?  Because as a pastors wife it’s my job to love others, smile, wave like a frickin princess.  My feelings and thoughts are not wanted.  Every other person in the church is allowed to share their feelings….but not me.  I can’t say that we cater to the old folks or that someone was rude as hell.  No, I’m supposed to suck it up because I’m married to the pastor.  I can’t post my views on social media because that would cause my husband lots of extra headaches to deal with…. and by that I mean spiritually immature individuals who want to have their pastors and their wives conservative republicans or holy and pious because wasn’t Jesus a white, middle class, Republican?  No…. I don’t get to be frustrated with the church or people.  I have to smile, wave and act like everything is fine despite church politics,  or that the pastor went 2 minutes over his sermon time and we didn’t get out right at noon.  Friends, I’ve waited a long time to write this blog, but the day is here.  I have enough content to keep us going quite a while, but I thought I would let you know that this blog is not for the faint of heart.

I plan to use the entire English vocabulary – curse words and all – gasp!  And you might even hear me talk about politics!  But I can assure you of one thing ….and that is that I will not be fake.  I will not hold my tongue and I will not act like everything is ok.  I don’t get to share my feelings as the regular pastor’s wife because if I did …. well my husband might not have a job.  So this space gives me anonymity and lets me use that sailor mouth my mother taught me and yet would gasp if she actually heard me speak it.  I do plan on mostly talking about love and Jesus and hypocrisy that I want to address ….So thanks for joining me.  Feel free to leave comments – but if their nasty… I probably won’t read them.